I raced against time... but I lost.

its been awhile since i last blogged. simply lazy to blog. bet u pple missed me alot. lolz!

its the last day of april and its been such a wonderful mth. (= celebrated our 1st mth together with my darling. *beams* *grins* and there was freshmen orientation for wushu ( which was today, at sentosa ). i must say, they r a great bunch of pple! so sporty. haha. kahboon!! more outing pls. better drag the yr ones out. haha. okz, n i went genting with the soka members like 3 weeks ago. *thumbs up!* waking up in the morning doing gongyo together. risking our lives to sit crazy rides like that vertical roller coaster thingy. and also the superman ride (which we found pretty boring. but i had a great time screaming my head off for fun) n taking a cab from KL to genting at wee hours in the morning. n the cab's speedometer was spoilt though. n kenji's cab ran on gas. haha. cool drivers i tell u. and 2 weeks ago, my company had this effie awards thingy where judges from various companies come n judge commercials. juz preparing that event was tiring manz. stayed up the entire nite to ensure that everything went well. n i guess it did. (= n we got to stay in a suite at grand copthone!! weeheee! but sadly, we stayed in that suite for less than 2hrs. coz most of the time we were bz preparing those stuff for the event. frigging tired. hmmz...n wad else. i love this mth becoz i found myself a job. n they extended my contract. cant wait to attend the gala dinner in june. *smiles* n then, yest, i attended fri nite rendezvous for the first time. not bad. if only the guy played songs from simple plan i'll b over the moon. (= n he is cute manz!! woohooz!! lolz. darling, don b jealous kz. (=

sometimes i wonder, have i not tried hard enuff. am i not determined enuff. or am i not focus enuff. all the things that i did, all the stuff that i prayed for. y did the teeny weeny stuff get answered but not my biggest wish. in second yr, i thot next time when i grew up, i wanna work in an advertising firm. n now, i got a job there. though i'm juz a temp there but there's so many things to learn there. i was quite surprised when i got this job. it was like...u gave me something i wanted though i din ask for it. then i prayed that they'll extend my contract n they did. wells, thats good though. but those r juz lil stuff i need in my life. i want something bigger something that will determine my future. but y aint u giving itto meeeee. )`= yes. i really feel like screaming now. i anticipated that rejection letter. but the feeling is juz totally diff when u receive it. arghz!!
wad if i get a full time job n i don feel like studying. wad if i go overseas n i don make it back. there's so many wad ifs. although the path to it is like exciting, its like...yay, i'm trying out something new. but u nv noe wads the outcome. n it isnt cheap going overseas. sickening manz. its more than a nitemare i tell u. it gets more painful when reality sinks in. n when u realised that u hav let more than urself down.
arghz. i wanna go somewhere far away!!!