I raced against time... but I lost.

i'm so irritated i'm so pissed. feel like going to bed and slp the rest of the day away. i wanna scream but all i can summon for is feeble whimper. i feel so lethargic, so weak, so drained. all i can say is *arghz* i hate reality.

watched deuce bigalow yest. pretty funny but quite crappy at the same time. after that i had to go straight hm, couldnt hang out with the rest. how sad can that be right. oh wells. reached farrer park, was raining super frigging heavily. thought of calling my parents to pick me. but thinking of the disagreements i had earlier i din felt like asking them for a favour. but later, i guess my bro's at home n he'll definitely come to my rescue. (= n so, i called him for help.

nagged bugged annoyed. things hasnt been good after my mom found out bout my results. the constant nagging has definitely drained out all life from within. feel totally sick! it seems like it isnt bad grumbling bout my results, but bout the amount of time i've been spending outside. and worst! dragging in that i've a bf! WTH! WT bloodly H! i juz cant b bothered arguing with her.

mayb its a good thing she's trying to get me back to the study mood. no more frequent online. lesser time spend outside. and i guess i'll indulge myself in dvds and whatever crap drama i get from frends. (=

these days i feel like i've been slapped back to reality. realised that miracles DON happen. they never do. its juz like wishing upon a star. ha! if u wanna do well, u've to put in the effort. nothing ever comes so easily. and things don fall frm the sky. hate it! if only dreams could b made real. but darnz. we're living in reality. not dreams. dreams are there to guide us i supposed.

anywayz, have u ever wondered how ur future husband or wifey will be like? or rephrasing it, how would u want your other half to be like? me..i want someone perfect. someone rich, whether or not he's youngor old. someone handsome so that i'll never get bored looking at him. someone with status for whatever sake. but that isnt ever gonna happen. haha. poof. another bubble burst. and also, having a bf and a future husband is totally diff. the things that u see and want in them are like diff! i wanna have a fairytale relationship with my own ending. a holiday romance? where both of u go crazy and do crazy stuff. and as for a future husband, i want someone committed. someone who can provide for me for the rest of my life. at this point of time, do i believe in happiness? i'm still unsure.

i donno whether i'm still in the mood for chalet. was pretty excited bout it during the hols. but now, i donno. feel like going clubbing on sat while chalet-ing. but that isnt gonna be nice, leaving pple to tend the bbq and stuff. sigh and more sigh. right now, i guess i'm looking forward to seeing ba poks (= see how pretty they can actually b. chalet here i come! (=