greatest mistake i made today was not pon-ing wushu. wanted to go for the friday rendezvous, but i forced myself to attend training today. n i did nth fruitful. :x tts bad though. juz simply hav no motivation to train. i wish...i could turn back time n go for tt performance. havent seen the samba-ianz in a long time. miss dem. dey are the ones tt brightens up ur life during the darkeest momentz. n ever since ycf ended...nthz been good. totally not motivated to do anything. n i mean anything n everything.

-sigh- kinda donno what's wif me. studies...wushu...studies -sigh harder- i simply don understand...juz y cant i achieve what i want. y cant i have the driving force to succeed in what i want. yest sch ended early. supposed to study, n i ended up slping till dinner time. nvmz. after dinner, watched tv. n i don usually watch tv. tried to study after tt but cannt concentrate. 11pm, f.r.i.e.n.d.s again. watch it. pretty late alrdy n all i've touched was 4 pages out of 5 chap? tried reading. was juz reading wordz. word after word without having a clue on wadz it about. tired...went to slp tinking i'll wake up early n study. -sigh-
when i came out of the lecture theatre after the paper, i asked myself what the hell was tt all about. cant believe i actually sat for tt paper. pretty easy paper i would say, but juz that...i din study hard enuff. n i juz cant study hard enuff.

den came wushu. 3yrz including 1yr + at dewu doing shit. pon-ing trainings at dewu slacking dere. and i nv learn frm my mistakez. nevertheless, i continued slacking at sp. i guess...a leapord nv change it spotz. piss piss pissed wif myself.

simply hate my darnz life. y wasnt i born perfect!

i wished the phrase [bu lao er huo] existed.